This is my oath to you

okay so its 5:36am. I woke up at 4, watched skins and now i can't get back to sleep. My ear hurts like hell and I've run out of oj so I'm gonna blog. Right, I've been so stressed with school recently with having to pick options again and we were doing lots of tests and I've been poorly as well so its been even harder to concentrate on anything going on in the test so I'm gonna do shit, but thats okay, i already know i'm stupid. Today Jazz is in london with her grandparents, I want her to have a gr9 time, she deserves it. Mia is in france s we speak, probably sleeping. I hope she has wifi, I wouldn't want her to get sad and end up doing something silly and no be able to stop it from happening. I love all my friends and I couln't never cope with loosing any of them. not one.

Wherever you go just always remember

You gotta home for now and forever

And when you get low just call me whenever

this is my oath to you

I'm 10 days self harm free and I have recovered from my borderline bulimia. I'm really scared of it coming back because  I know if it does then its gonna be stronger and ore liking to develop more net time. I'm trying to stay positive but its hard because i've seen it happen to so many other people on twitter and it happened to Mia, I'm just really scared. In all honestly, I never wanted it to go and i still want it back but i'm too weak to get it back. I'm too weak to start purging all the time again, I'm too weak to cut everytime i binge and don't purge. I'm too weak for fasting. I'm too weak for all of that now, I'm just stuck 'getting better'.

idk im bored of blogging now
my ear hurts
my is tummy hurts probably bc im fat
im self-hating at 9am wow
lol todays gonna be shit
im alone all day
a l o n e

bye☺