Am I that girl?

Me: I wasn't in education for about a month and a half so

Danni: how come?

Me: the doctor said SLA was making me ill so i had to be homeschooled but i didn't do it

Danni: Ill? what like, you got depressed and stopped eating?

Me: Yeah, pretty much. how did you guess that wut

Danni: You can tell, you're really skinny

Okay, what? This made mt think so much. Its not like me and Danni are friends, its not like she HAS to say this so, what if its true? What if what I see isn't what I really am? What if I am skinny but I just can't see it and the only person really lying about the way i look, is me? Its stupid how much this made me think, i was thinking about it all through maths. Danni also saw me cut today, i feel really bad. 'i knew you seemed different'  No, I'm not different. I am normal, I am fine. So, now I really worried I have BDD or something like that. you've probaby seen the picture, of a really skinny girl looking in the mirror and just seeing hersef, but fat? everyones seen it.. I worried that I am that girl, that I look like that but no-one is telling me. anyone someone tried i just deny it. Am I that girl?

'So, how are things going for you?'

How are things going for me? Things are going terrible. I haven't been truely happy snce yesterday afternoon. I thought things were getting better, i thought I was climbing out of this black never ending hole that surrounds me but no. Things are getting worse again, I'm falling back down and I can't stop it. I know you're probably thinking 'well its only been since yesterday' but no. I've been sinking further and further down for a while now but i've been hanging onto the end with my fignernails but now i'm letting go. 

I'm falling

And no-one is saving me..