You see, I say that a lot. I say that I want to end my life and when I say it, I mean it. It's upsetting that everyone ignores it, everyone thinks I won't do it. In all honesty, I don't know if I actually would. I don't know if I would do something that would actually kill me. I can easily do something that might kill me but it probably won't. Idk. Do u really want to die? Or do I just want the pain to end for a little while? To be numb, safe in hospital. Do I want to be admitted? Or do I just want someone to care? Do I want to be taken seriously? Or do I want everyone to forget about my problems and leave me to die?
I never know what I want really
I know I want to be happy
I know I want to be skinny
Apparently I'm not allowed both.
'Dont be sad'
Why would I be? What is there to be sad about? Everything is perfect
I have a famiythat love me
I have a perfect girlfriend
I don't have depression or an eating disorder?
Why on earth would I be sad?
That is what I don't understand. Why am I sad? What is wrong with my life that makes me feel this way?
Am I just being stupid?
Pathetic?
Attention seeker?
Who knows.
All I am is me, I get sad, suicdal. I hate myself a lot. I don't go out very often because I get scared that people will laugh at me.
I know how cliche it is
But I am just
M e
Scars:
Left leg:89
Right leg: 81
Left arm:14
Right arm: 5
Cuts: 0
Weight: 115.8
Hight: 5'5
Days clean:25
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