I don't know anymore/

How is it possible to hate someone so much yet miss them like hell? I can't help but think that I would be alot happier if you were still in my life. If I still saw you, If I still hugged you, If I could still kiss you. You were the best thing I ever had and now its gone I miss it, I don't miss you, I miss what er had. what you gave me, that feeling  I got when I was with you. What if I don't get that again? I always try to say I'm happy being single but I'm not. I hat being alone, I need someone to be there, to give me a hug when im upset. But thanks to you my expectations are so high. I want someone who I won;t see everyday but someone who I will see enough. I want someone who won't be afraid to hold my hand in public, who will give me long hugs. Someone who I can call every night and not feel awkward. While writing that I noticed I have just described you. I know I'm never gonna get you back, I don't want YOU back. I want what we had, just with someone else...