I'll pick your feet up off of the ground and never ever let you down

I can't handle this anymore. I have so many feelings and no idea why any of them are there. It was so nice talking to you, I can't But its made me miss you even more&its made me think about things more and I know that you say its not my fault but I will always think it is.

My mind is a warrior 

My heart is a foreigner 

My eyes are the colour of red like a sunset

I've started purging more and that scares me. I feel like everyone expected it so no-one really cares. I want to tell my group or someone about it because I don't want to end up being Bulimic, I really don't but I'm scared I might be too late. Today I have purged 4 times. 4. Nothing ive eaten stays in because I don't deserve food. I don't deserve to eat. I'm too fat. I'm disgusting. I'm getting so much worse than I was before and that really scares me but right now I'm not thinking about what it could do to my insides or anything I just want skinny. I crave perfection and if I die trying at least I know I died at least close to skinny.

Be a true heart not a follower

We're not done yet

I threw them away again. I wish I didn't, I know I'm gonna end up getting more and I'm just gonna let everyone down, I know it. That scares me alot because I hate letting people down, like, I hate it more than I hate myself. I want to be strong, I want to be able to wear shorts and roll up my sleeves at home. I'm just fed up of being this way but nothing is going away. A year and 3/4 is enough, I can't live this way anymore. I'm not strong enough.