lol lost my temper

Its getting worse again, I hate myself more and more everyday. I have panic attacks when I have to go out because I know everyone will laugh at how disgusting I am. My make-up always goes wrong, always. My hair is shit bc I cut it. But I have to go ou- i'M TOO FUCKING STUPID AND I CAN'T EVEN WRITE CAN I JUST DIE I FUCKING HATE MYSELF KILL ME BEFORE I DO IT PLEASE JUST TAKE THE PAIN AWAY I CAN'T COPE I WANT TO DIE PLEASE PLEASE