My day tomorrow;

Tomorrow, I will wake up in a shit mood because I will know I will have to go to this hell. I will get all of my stuff ready and decide what blade to take in. I will wait for Sophie and when she gets there she will ask me why I said she chose sam over me, i know she will. I will reply; 'thats how it feels' we will get to school and she will walk away. I will try and find Mia but she won't be there yet so I will stand on my own until Elooise comes. I will give her a hug and I will pretend I'm okay. Then Mia will get to school and I might cheer up a bit or I will just keep myself to myself and not talk to anyone. I will realise its time for form and I will sit on my won reading my book and listening to Emmas and Sams conversation and Emma will talk to me about Salvador and I won't listen. Miss will say 'Time for class' and my heart will start to beat really fast. I will go up to buissness and depending on what happens inthe morning Sophie might take to me or she will ignore me. We will have to learn stuff and I won't know whats going on;I will cry. I will then go to Maths. everyone will be laughing at me for having such a red face and they will ask me questions. The I will sit down, on a table with everyone I hate and they will mock me, as usual and i will pretend to ignore it. I won't understand the work, i never do. I will go to break and I will meet Mia, I won't show I'm upset but after about 5 minuites I will say I'm going to the toilet and I will hope she won't follow me. I will got and hide and wait for everyone to leave before I cut as much as I can, just to make myself feel better. I will cover it up and go back to Mia, if I have time. I will hope she won't mention it because she will know what I have been doing. I will try not to cry any more. I will check my timetable and I will realise I have health and social and I will cry a bit more. I will go in and sit in my seat, hoping soeone notices and asks me if I'm okay. Everyone will notice, no-one will care. I won'tlisten or so anything because I won't nderstand. I will end up walking out to my form tutor and asking hr if I could stay with her. She will leave me inthe room and I will try and clean up my arm a bit and after a while, just before the end of class I will go to lunch. I will want someone to noticeI'm upset and hug me but I won't want anyone to ask why. Secretly, I would be wishing someone would pull up my sleeves and tell me too stop because I'm ebtter than the blade. Depending on how it goes, I might cut at unch too. The it will be English, I will do it, she will shout at me because my assessment wont be good enough.then I will walk home, either on my own or with mia, I will try to smile so I don't get her down.

I will do another post tomorrow saying if this happened.