I was so close to doing it tonight, so close. I'm still not sure if I'm happy things have turned out the way they have or not. Jazz took the tablets from my draw and replaced it with a note. If it wasn't for her I probably wouldn't be here now. This will probably be a short post but the whole thing will be about how much i love jazz so stop reading now if you don't want to read that.
Okay, I can't even explain just how much I love Jazz. I mean, I never expected to fall for her as much as I have. ngl i still remember when we started to like eachother when we were cuddling while watching friends in your bedroom. Everything was perfect, I think that was one of the times I was really happy, a time when I wouldn't of choose to die if I could do it without hurting anyone. Thats just how I feel when im with her, it feels like nothing can go wrong, like if she's there then I'm safe from everything. ofc, the voices are still there the people are still there but it feels like they can't get me. Its just when im alone. I have the relationship with her like I had with Nathan but 1000x better. All I've ever said is that I want the relationship I had with him with a different person and now i have that but its even better. There isn't any of those flaws you get in relationships, everything is just perfect. She is perfect. WE are perfect.
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