'Cause you can't bandage the damage, you never really can fix a heart

Erugh, you're such a cunt. I actually hate you, I mean, why would you do that to her? Then move onto me? then try and say you're not a horrible person? BLERGH. H A T E  Y O U.  And I have to see you, every morning, looks like I'm sitting on my own in from waheey. kill me, kill me now. idk, everything you said to me last night, how you made me feel, everything about you just makes me want to stab you. I want you to feel the way I did last night, I want you to realise what you say, hurts people.

Looking in the rear view mirror,

Everything is so much clearer,

Watch me wave it all goodbye, goodbye.

I dreamt about you last night, after mum telling me I will see you at Christmas. I don't know how to feel about that, obviously, I want to see you but I won't be able to talk to you, I will see you and be filled with guilt and regret. Yet I miss you like hell. then again, you might not even want to see me, if not then i will know for sure that its not just you not being allowed. It weird, you helped me so much, you stopped me from doing it more than once and now you're just gone, the only way I can know if you're alright is by getting your tweets sent to my phone. I know I will be able to see him, its just you, you that I miss so much, you that I ruined the life&body of, you  that should hate me..

I'm gonna love you like I've never been broken,

I'm gonna say it like its never been spoken,

Tonight, tonight, I'm letting go

Right, I'm going to try my best to make it work with you, understand that this is new to me, I haven't been in this kinda relationship before so obviously, I will be a bit awkward at first. I will hug you like nothing has changed, I will act like nothing is different, at first. I probably won't tell anyone about it other than people who ask or read this. Two of my friends already know, and one of yours. I want to tell her but I don't know how to say it so kinda hoping she asks and is happy for me. Petrified of everyone finding out, judging me. I know it won't last, maybe about a week or two then I will continue hoping one day you suddenly fall in love with me. Hopefully, I will grow to love you, eh? 

I'm gonna give it like its never been taken

I'm gonna fall like I  don't need saving

Okay, last bit, I just wanted to say thank you, to Mia&Jazz for helping me so much last night, it means alot, I love you both ye?♥♥