If you feel, so empty, so used up, so let down..

You know when the one ting you were looking forward to gets taken away? It fucking sucks. Its not her fault, of course. Its mine, it mine for telling them, its mine for making your family think im a bad infulence its my fucking fault. Someone kill me? I don't want the clean arms anymore, I don't want the extra numbers on the scales so, I give up. 

I give up trying to get 'better'

I give up trying to get you to care

I give up trying to make you love me

I give up trying to be happy

I give up fake smiling

I give up holding back the tears

I don't care what people think about any of this anymore. chances are I will change my mind and go back to trying to get better but for now, I'm done.

I'm falling and you're no longer there to catch me

I'm fed up.

I'm fed up of the bad days

I'm fed up of the massive highs and painfu lows

I'm fed up of the lonelyness

I'm fed up of the self hatred

I'm fed up of the jealousy

I'm fed up of life

I'm fed up of being here

I'm just fed up of everything

'Love is louder than the pressure to be perfect'

One day, near or far I don't know, it will happen again. One day, it will work. I wold of fially got what I wanted. No-one will know, untill they find me, hanging from somewhere, then they will look at my twitter they will see how much I have been stuggling. They won't understand that this is what I want. They will just think that it was a mistake because they won't be able to face the fact that not everything is right and not everyone is always happy. To be honest, I can't wait for that say to come. The day everyone finally notices who I am, who I have been for over a year now. I will finally be gone, happy, dead.