I wanna be a bottle blonde, I don't know why but I feel conned

Why can't I do it? One day, for fuck sake. Its never been hard before, whats changed? I wish my friends all knew, I wish they would all stop me from eating whenever I want to. I want to starve. I feel so messed up writing this, all I really want is to be skinny, all of my friends are and I'm just that fat fuck that can;t even go a day without eating anymore. I will start again tomorrow, I know this is fuck up and I know you won't agree to this but, Mia, if you read this, if I want to eat at school, please stop me. Tell me its not worth it. Please, please, please..

(Stole this from someone else but I love it)

'Ankles together, thigh's apart if you can't see your collar bones you know where to start, you hip bones should starve and your rib bones remark ' your skinny and perfect that's who you are'

Do you wanna know a little irony about me?

I don't know if I should share this little irony about me

We've never really been 'close'. Suddenly I just feel the urge to try and help you, you don't deserve this. You are so kind and lovely you deserve happiness. I will try to talk to you as much as I can&help you, like I tried to today. I hope this will work, I hope this phase passes soon because it pains me to see you like this.

But its funny

'cause my heart started beating

it never had before today..