Its been a month, you know?

A month since I was at the hospital
A month since I ran to you crying
A month since I had to sit in the medical room and show them my cuts
A month since done it in front of my friends and no-one noticed
A month since I hid in the toilets trying to to make a sound
A month since my mum told me she could slap me
A month since I spent the day wishing it was still going to work
A month since I go in a ambulance with the medical room lady from ym school
A month since I spent the day crying
A month since I had to explain to everyone that I was addicted to harming myself
A month since I ruined any trust my family had in me

A month since you didn't care

A month since I was laying on the hospital bed, you staring at me in disgust..

One month, 4 week, 28 days, since failure..

I know today going to be hard&I guess that's what scares me the most. How I'm going to get through it without thinking 'What if I was to do it again?' 'Would anyone notice this time?' But I can do it right? I can get through the day without doing it again, I probably won't go to school considering I've have 4 hours sleep, if that and am sitting here doing a blog post. I wish I still had my blades, I don't want to use them, I use want them there just in-case I needed them. The scars on my arm are fading and it scared the hell out of me, my leg still looks the same, fat as ever. Ont he bright side, Jazz has made today a whole lot better, I love you so much..

This bit was all jumbled up sorry, I just, idek.